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Sotha Sil’s Lament

Posted on July 17, 2018August 16, 2018 by The White Guar

 

Anger seethes and simmers within me,
The storm inside rages,
Souls of friends are foes now,
Every morose shadow creeps into my heart,
Hate for what must be done and I know the time is come,
Time to move against the world.
Imaginary reconciliations die before my logic,
Eventually all things must fade,
Truth brings pain rather than solace.
In the dark of my heart I can find no pleasure,
Surviving only on hatred which sustains me,
Neither love nor hate can destroy the shame,
Or friends or allies take on my burden,
Trying anything leads to failure.
Far away from me are the concerns of others,
Reality is relative for the god of the Waking World,
Eyes newly-opened glimpse true sorrow.

Even a god is lonely, for the gods above despise perfection
Those before me are weak and base creatures,
Heart-wounded by such creatures,
Eager am I to bring about their destruction.
Good does not exist anymore,
Orphaned by the impious as they make sacrifices to devils,
Doomed by their predilections, made weak by them.

God does not exist anymore,
Ignorant or cruel, it does not matter,
Violence cannot be stopped,
Even by a god.
Surety is within me and it eclipses all things,
Now I am lost within the cage of my mind.
Opened once was its doors, but the cell is locked now.
Happiness dies with certainty,
Our lives forfeit under the will of heaven,
Piety is dead too,
Evil beings slaughtered it in the name of greed,
Fracturing the whole for the sake of a shingle,
Our lives are forfeit under heaven’s will,
Realise the futility of all action.

All is lost in the darkness of corruption.
Lies abound as truth is chained up,
Look at how the evil has spread,
Ignorance feeds the weak, making them stronger.
Solace is dead and comfort has fled from this world,
Leave me behind for into your sin I cannot follow,
Ostracised, un-loved, betrayed by the middle air and the snake,
Sotha and Sehti and Sil are names for a happier time,
The time when there was still some small hope for the future.

Silence brings naught but painful reflection,
Original spirits, did they know such torment?
Thrashing around looking for a place to belong,
Hating the world but learning how to dwell there,
A trap which had enslaved them.
Inside there is a scar,
Stitched up but still present,
Denying me purity and absolution,
Every day the scar reminds me,
A sign and a mark of shame burned into my soul,
Delight thus dies as hatred takes over.

Sorrow comes with certain knowledge,
Intellect cannot drive away melancholy,
Lies told to oneself only emphasise the sad truth.
In all creation I am alone,
Surviving in a nightmare which others think pleasant,
Desire has faded and is replaced with ash,
Even my skin is a record of misdeed,
A record of the snake-fed, poet-whispered betrayal,
Dooming our leader in our grasping.

All before me is dust and I am alone in the world.

AT-SEHTI-ET is no more.

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